


A Sip Of The Unexpected

by supercanaries



Category: Glee
Genre: 7 minutes in heaven, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blaine Friendly, Confessions, Drinking Games, Heart-to-Heart, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-13 12:36:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4522218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercanaries/pseuds/supercanaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you feel like playing a game?” He asks, smiling a bit. His mustache is ridiculous really, how is it even attractive? Kurt might hate him just for that. “C'mon,” he insists when Kurt looks reluctant, “We're stuck in a closet and I'm not even trying to get into your pants.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So hmmm I got this silly thought in mind and decided to just write it down two days ago! It's no biggie but I hope you enjoy it! Warning for language, I don't think there's much else, mentions of sexual activities (Blaine friendly, maybe the Warblers are a bit of asses, depends on how much you relate to Kurt's POV). Thank you for reading this! Canon divergence, Kurt and Blaine didn't get married.

_Warblers reunions._

Two years ago Kurt had given that answer when Rachel had asked him if there was anything in the world he hated more than uncoordinated outfits on Friday nights. 

It might sound like an hyperbole, but it isn't. Kurt deeply resents Warblers reunions. He does not hate the Warblers, but he has that feeling that he isn't as beloved by them as he used to be in high school. After his first break-up with Blaine, Kurt has feeling they believed that they had to pick sides, that there were factions. He never put them and never asked anyone to choose. He's positive Blaine didn't either, not on their first break-up, or their second or ever.

But there is this distance …

It is evident to Kurt that they don't see him as the junior year Warbler that had sung with them. Kurt guesses there's a reason why he had moved back to McKinley. He didn't feel home then and he sure as hell couldn't feel home now among them, no matter how hard he tried.

Truth to be told, Kurt usually avoids reunions.

He announces he is too busy, or too far away from Westerville to fly there for the occasion, basically anything that would excuse him, even if it sounds as much of a lie as it is. He just honestly doesn't care about meeting them – especially he is too proud to let himself care for people who have resentment for him over his relationship with Blaine.

That is why you might be skeptical to hear he actually is at a Warblers reunion. It was a mix of 'I'm already visiting my family in Ohio' and Rachel giving him that scolding ' _Kurt_ ' accompanied by a severe ' _I can't believe you hate it that much'_ look on her face that caused this.

It's not as bad as usual. And much worse than usual. Depends on the point of view. 

Everyone is a bit drunker than what they used to be years ago, when Kurt went the last time, but it's kind of good because most of them are over-joyed and excited, and they can't find the strength in their brains to remember why they were upset with Kurt in the first place. Kurt finds it ironic that you would need your brain to focus only to come up with such ridiculous reasons. 

Being in the same place as Blaine doesn't feel that bad anymore.

They were tensed at first (they always were, after every break-up, mostly because they never broke up on peaceful circumstances), but it's starting to wave off with time and this is how Kurt knows there won't be any love doves reunions in the end. Their negative tension is waving off, but so is their attraction to each other. They can talk peacefully, no awkwardness; Kurt believes this is how you figure your ex-lover, ex-boyfriend, ex-fiancé starts turning into an occasional friend. 

However nice it is to be friends, Kurt avoids being too close to Blaine tonight.

Drunken or not, he is sure everyone here would start assuming things. It's curious, Kurt thinks, how much they dislike him when Blaine and he are apart, and yet how desperate they are for them to get back together everytime. What a twisted mind phenomenon. 

Most of the night goes quite smoothly.

Kurt spends it being quiet, polite and discreet. He avoids Jeff or everyone else who's too drunk not to end up asking question and above else he avoids Sebastian Smythe. Sure, Kurt isn't one to hold resentment all life long because of high school accidents, and _sure_ , Sebastian does look ridiculously attractive all grown-up, funny mustache and improved sense of style that has driven him into wearing a white tight shirt, sleeves rolled up – which Kurt wouldn't if they weren't among … friends? - but then again, what would they possibly talk about? ' _Hey, remember that time you tried to steal my boyfriend which I ended up breaking up with every two weeks or so anyway eventually?_ ' or ' _Oh God, the good old days when you were trying to assault me with a slushie you corrected with kryptonite?_ ' It doesn't really sound pleasant. 

Eventually, though, the alcohol starts wearing on, the room gets louder and everyone seems to find the floor either amusing or revolting, and in the middle of it, of course, Jeff jumps on the coffee table (Kurt closes his eyes for a moment when it looks like he's going to lose his balance) and yells something about playing 7 Minutes in Heaven.

Kurt rolls his eyes because, really? They're adults. Some of them are married.

But of course almost everyone but him thinks that is a brilliant idea.

For a moment, Kurt considers his options. He could excuse himself and go away, which would be highly suspicious. He could run and hide in the bathroom which would be extremely pathetic. Or he could just sit here and play. What's the worse that could happen? That he'd have to spend seven minutes in a closet with Blaine? It's nothing new and he knows Blaine won't push anything, neither of them will.

Therefore he stays. 

They gather all around the table once Jeff gets off it. Some of them sit on the floor like actual teenagers (like they used to during Warblers slumbers), some are standing. Kurt snugs on the couch, obviously, probably looking uptight with how stiff his posture is. Whatever, if he was with his actual high school friends, he would be comfortable enough to lie all spread on the floor. 

At first, he fears they're going to use some tricky method to make it so that Blaine and he get picked, but he is relieved to see that they are really just spinning a bottle, taking turns. It would seem like they finally got over their silly obsession.

For most of the game, Kurt looks at the clock, how long it is till the end of the night. He is tired and maybe he is also forcing himself to be in a bad mood because he doesn't want to admit that without the _KurtAndBlaine_ matter taking over, this might not be as unpleasant as he thought. Every now and then, Kurt would even fight to keep a smile or a laugh. 

That is until it's his turn to spin the bottle of course.

When he does, he is amused and calm, feels a bit warmer towards them, which makes it easier to trust the game. All in fun!

But of course the game would betray Kurt right when he was starting to trust it.

The bottle spins as he laughs and they cheer his name but the joy dies in his throat when it stops on Sebastian Smythe of all people.

Sure, it's not like there's forty of them in here and it's not like there wasn't a chance. Kurt considered it, he truly did. Eventually though, he had shrugged it off as it being a silly thought. It wasn't actually going to stop on Sebastian.

Except that it did.

Now Kurt's sitting there, as rigid as he had been before unawarely relaxing while the hour passed, looking up at Sebastian with a concern so clear that he can feel it on his own features. 

Sebastian looks cool about it, standing by the wall nearby, all tall, beer in hand and that cocky attitude only slightly softened by the years. His trademark smirk is a bit more pulled but just as … charming? Not that Kurt thought it was charming back in high school.

He guesses, if Sebastian's cool about it, why should he freak out? It's just a game and he is pretty sure no one spent seven minutes making out, so they won't. It's not like Sebastian would want to anyway. And that goes for Kurt too. 

So Kurt stands up, hands nervously laid on his thighs while he moves around, rigid as a penguin, headed toward the closet, between the cheers and screams and whistles. He is not even sure Sebastian is following and he knows he made half a scene by sitting up all paralyzed and shocked, but as soon as he walks in, followed by the other man, he feels relieved. As relieved as he can feel being in such a tight, closed space with Sebastian Smythe.

Sebastian closes the door, still holds the beer in his other hand.

“Ah, to be speechless because you get to spend seven minutes all alone with such a stud,” He teases immediately.

It's rude of him to point it out, but it's also not crude. Which is a progress from 2011. 

Kurt crosses his arms to his chest.

“Ah, to be still so full of yourself now that you're not a kid anymore.” Kurt tilts his eyebrow. “At least not on the outside.”

Sebastian laughs quietly. It's a bit uncomfortable and not scorning. Kurt isn't sure which one concerns him the most.

“I'm glad you pay attention to my outsides.” He takes a sip from his beer. “You do know what the game's about, right?”

“I know!” Kurt says, maybe a bit too defensively. “But … we're not doing that! I mean, you wouldn't want it, I wouldn't want it. No one checks on it, so why put ourselves through something we'd both end up deeply disliking?”

Sebastian is still grinning, but he nods.

Kurt is relieved. For a moment he thought he'd have to make out with Sebastian.

“So what do you suggest we do?” Sebastian asks. “Enlighten me.”

Kurt's about to tell him that they can ignore each other for all he cares, but Sebastian isn't being hostile. Why would Kurt be?

“You know what?” He asks, glad to see Sebastian looks curious. “Let's put this time to good use.” Sebastian wiggles his eyebrows, Kurt blushes a bit and pretends he doesn't notice. “I'm sorry that I was passive-aggressive in high school, and I'm sorry that I've said stuff. In my defense, you were being a complete jackass, but your actions aren't supposed to justify mine, so here you have it. I'm sorry.”

As he speaks, Sebastian's grin gradually drops and his whole face shifts into a frown, so by the time Kurt's done, he looks confused.

“What?” Kurt asks. “You know, I had kind of figured courtesy isn't your forte, but that it would over-confuse you to the point you can't function astonishes me.”

Sebastian looks at him as if to say 'seriously?'.

Kurt shrugs.

“I do know courtesy, you moron. I'm not seventeen anymore.” He looks a bit offended, which is amusing. Kurt gives him an skeptical look. “I just can't seem to get what the fuck you're supposed to be apologizing for.”

“Well,” Kurt is hesitating, he knows, “I take it you're not into the whole apologizing / looking for forgiveness thing – not that I am, looking for your forgiveness, I'm just being polite – but when you insult someone, it's kind of nice to say 'I'm sorry'.”

Sebastian smiles amused – still a bit puzzled, but amused.

“I know, you idiot. That's not what I meant.” He says, but doesn't add anything to it and really, what is Kurt supposed to do?

“What did you mean?” He wishes he was careless enough to drop it, but he is too curious.

Sebastian looks like he's going to tell him that it doesn't matter, his face looks a bit tight and wary, but eventually he drinks from his beer and speaks.

“I'm the one who's supposed to apologize, really. Yours was barely self-defense. A pathetic attempt at it, but self-defense nevertheless.” 

It's so hard to have a conversation with Sebastian without being constantly reminded of his ways it would seem. However, Kurt sees past that and sees that Sebastian admitted he's at fault, although Kurt believes he has some of that fault and although Sebastian's little speech wasn't actually an apology.

“As I said, let's put this time to good use.” He tries to prompt subtly.

If there's one thing Sebastian is that Kurt can't deny is smart.

There is not way he didn't catch the hint.

“Yeah, I guess.” Sebastian steps closer, maybe unawarely. Kurt can see it on his face that for once he doesn't have any bad intentions. “You're right. I'm sorry for everything, I really am, I'm not just saying it. Being nice sucks and what sucks the most about it is that it grows on you, and eventually it becomes your attitude rather than a self-imposed behavior.”

Kurt presses his lips together to fight a smile.

“And yeah, you were sort of a bitch too.” Sebastian adds, scrunching face on. “Kind of googled many times if Craigslist had a smell, but I deserved most of your remarks. What do you say, am I forgiven?”

Kurt is tempted to say no, tempted to make Sebastian sweat a bit more.

But it's been years and honestly, all that is left is the necessity of being guarded around Sebastian. There's no resentment, not anymore. 

“I forgive you.” Kurt grins. “But I'm not taking it back. You smell like Craigslist, fancy shirt or not.”

“Fancy?” Sebastian spreads his arms and gives him an incredulous look. “This is my worst.”

“Somehow I don't believe it.” Kurt teases, having no idea why it's so natural to mock Sebastian playfully rather than with the intent of wounding him.

“Shut up?” Sebastian laughs, looking guilty as charged.

They seem to get to the realization that they're laughing together at the same time, because they stop and silence grows awkward around them – if not for the loud music coming from out of the door. Kurt shoves his hands in his pockets, despite not being very fond of the gesture, and Sebastian clears his throat.

“So,” He starts, weirdly quiet, “I'm guessing our seven minutes are up.”

“I don't have a watch.” Kurt says instinctively.

_Fuck_. He knows how that sounded: as if he's trying to give them more time. He looks away, uncomfortable and quite sure Sebastian is about to remark on how much Kurt probably enjoys being in such a private space with a hot piece as him or something, but he is surprised when the other boy opens the door.

At least he tries to.

A few times.

At first he pulls down the handle, laughing awkwardly when the door won't open. Then he gets more nervous about it, tries again and again, more insistently. Kurt already got to the conclusion when Sebastian turns towards him.

“They locked us in.” He rolls his eyes. 

Kurt is sure he is thinking they're idiots. At least they agree on something.

“Maybe it wasn't on purpose.” He tries. “I mean, they put the chair to block it and forgot to take it off. Maybe they got tired of playing.”

“Don't you fucking know them?” Sebastian leans against the wall, resigned, and looks at the ceiling as he drinks from his beer.

For a moment they're still like this, in silence. Kurt is standing in the middle of the closet, Sebastian looks like he wants the floor to swallow him for some reason. Kurt's a bit wounded: after their honest heart to heart, he didn't think it was going to be such a trauma for Sebastian to be trapped in the same room as him. 

“So we're stuck.” He says eventually, like it's not obvious, to break that unbearable silence.

Sebastian seems to realize that he snapped.

“I'm sorry.” He says, then adds, “Again.”

“It's okay.” Kurt slowly sinks onto the floor.

He doesn't even care about his pants getting dirty, not when he is stuck in a closet during a party he didn't even want to attend in the first place. So he sits there, legs long and untangled on the floor, hands at the sides of his own waist.

Looking up at Sebastian, he notices that the boy is staring back, like he's wondering if Kurt is actually hurt that he snapped.

In the end, he sighs and comes to sit opposite to Kurt.

“Do you feel like playing a game?” He asks, smiling a bit. His mustache is ridiculous really, how is it even attractive? Kurt might hate him just for that. “C'mon,” he insists when Kurt looks reluctant, “We're stuck in a closet and I'm not even trying to get into your pants.”

_That's because you don't even like me_ , Kurt thinks but doesn't say.

“Sure.” It's what comes out of his mouth instead. “What game is it?”

Sebastian smirks, which promises no good.

“You have to tell a lie and a truth, and the other person has to guess which is which. If you guess correctly, you get to drink.” He lifts his half empty bottle of beer. 

Kurt frowns. “I thought it was supposed to be you drink if you guess wrong.”

“That's for losers.” Sebastian wrinkles his nose. “I say drinking is the prize.”

“You're happy with little.” Kurt says but before Sebastian can reply, he adds, “Okay. Let's play it this way. I might need alcohol to make your presence tolerable.”

Sebastian laughs. “Please, you love it.”

Kurt doesn't say anything, just lifts his chin and nods at Sebastian.

“You want me to start?” Sebastian asks, and he nods again. “Fine. Remember, one lie, one truth.”

“You'd think he'd know I'm not stupid from all the times I outsmarted him.” Kurt says under his breath.

Sebastian pretends he didn't catch it. “What did you say, darling?”

“Nothing.” Kurt grins, falsely but sort of playfully at the same time; which is weird. “Shoot.”

“Okay, so one, I've been dancing since I was six.” Sebastian begins, his tone not revealing much. “Two, I've won a violin contest, first prize, when I was twelve.”

Kurt tilts his head on the side and thinks. He literally knows nothing about Sebastian. He might as well be a stranger to him, but he can guess this one.

“You've been dancing since you were six, I can see that happening.” He says, blushing a little when Sebastian smirks more brightly, as if Kurt had complimented him. 

There's a moment of suspense and Kurt hates that Sebastian is good at it, creating this atmosphere when they're just supposed to be passing time.

Eventually he offers the bottle and Kurt squeals in excitement.

“I knew it!” He leans in, grabs the bottle from Sebastian's hand and feels silly for being so happy.

Their hands brush together for a moment.

Kurt moves his away as if it was burned and then drinks from the bottle as if nothing happened. As if he didn't feel weird touching Sebastian for the first time since their handshake at the Lima Bean during Kurt's senior year.

“Yeah, I wasn't twelve when I won that violin contest.” Sebastian shrugs, but his arrogance underneath isn't well hidden. “I was, like, eight.”

Kurt almost chokes on the beer.

“Really?” He looks at Sebastian as he ends it back to him.

He is so not pondering over the fact that they're drinking from the same bottle. He's not five, he's not going to think that it's like indirectly kissing or something.

“Yeeeep.” Sebastian says smugly. “Your turn.”

Kurt wants to insist, wants to know more about Sebastian, the young violinist. But then again, why boost his already big ego?

“Fine.” He sits up straight. “I played Tony in West Side Story at McKinley, Senior Year,” he can already see Sebastian wrinkle his nose in confusion, “aaaaaaaaaaand, I was on the football team and I won us a game.”

“Are you serious?” Sebastian asks, half grinning, half frowning.

“Hmmm,” Kurt smiles in amusement.

“This is cheating!” He complains, looking like a child. It's impossible not to enjoy it. “I know you haven't played Tony! I was there!”

“Therefore ...?” Kurt tilts an eyebrow.

Sebastian gives him a questioning look, silently asking Kurt if he just really wants him to say it.

Kurt's grin grows bigger.

“You're hilarious.” Sebastian says sardonically. “Fine, stereotypes breaker, sports God Kurt Hummel was on the football team and won them a game. Serves me well for having prejudices.”

“Yes!” Kurt says triumphantly as Sebastian drinks form his almost empty bottle. “Serves you beer though. It's not that bad.”

“Fair enough.” Sebastian presses his lips together, doesn't joke about it as Kurt expected him too.

In fact, his face crumbles a bit like he is seriously considering what to say. Not like the first time though, then he was thinking but in the game. This time, it looks like he is giving it more consideration, like it's something more than a game. It makes Kurt tighten in his shoulders a bit. He doesn't feel as comfortable as a moment ago.

After a few seconds of staring at the floor, Sebastian meets his glance again.

His eyes are … intense, Kurt would say. They're full of something he doesn't not know, but it almost feels like it's the first time Sebastian is truly looking at him. His eyes are a bit blown and shining with some sort of tempting but appealing curiosity. Kurt tries to blink but he can't look away. It is both confusing and overwhelming that Sebastian would look at him like that.

“Since you're playing tricky ...” Sebastian eventually says and this time his smirk truly is a wonder of trouble. If trouble had lips, it'd own Sebastian's. “One, I jerked off to you, many times, and I loved every second of it.” He says, quick and direct. “Two, I slept with at least fifteen people.”

Kurt gives him an impressed look, releasing the breath he's been holding onto number one.

“That's such an easy one.” He says, reaches for the bottle from Sebastian's hands as he says, “You slept with at least fifteen people.”

His fingers have almost got the bottle when Sebastian abruptly pulls it back and away from Kurt. 

Kurt looks up, annoyed.

“What's that?” He says, but inside he's screaming.

He's not stupid. Of course he knows what that is.

“You know the rules.” Sebastian grins, falsely and as sharp as a knife. Satisfied above else.

“Yes, I know the rules.” Kurt answers, his cheeks must be dark from the way his face is burning. “So I get to drink.”

He knows it's stupid and childish to do this, but on the other hand, Sebastian clearly pulled that out to embarrass him, so it's not like Kurt can be blamed. He leans in once more, reaches for the bottle, but Sebastian brings it to his lips and swallows down what remained.

“Hey no!” Kurt sighs and drops his arms. “You're cheating. I'm right, you're wrong.”

“I'm not lying. What were we saying?” Sebastian asks, and Kurt swears he looks a bit flushed himself. “Serves you well for having prejudices.”

Kurt sits up, opens his mouth to say something but the truth is nothing will come out. Kurt doesn't blame himself for it. It's hard to say anything when he's stuck with the idea of Sebastian jerking off to him, really. And if it's true that Kurt already admitted he basically knows nothing about Sebastian, his whole opinion is based on the few times they have met and the persona Kurt built for him in his head, there is no universe in which he can picture Sebastian touching himself, panting and messy and imagining him. Well, he can easily picture the first part; the last one not so much.

“Did you-” Kurt is asking, heart suddenly beating faster in his chest.

He's interrupted however when the door of the closet slams open and an over-drunken Jeff appears.

“Guys!” He screams, then laughs. “We kind of forgot you were in here, oh my God! You gotta come outside, dance partyyyyyyy!”

Kurt shakes his head but when he looks back at Sebastian, the man is already standing up and walking out of the closet. 

“Hey! Wait!” Kurt jumps up and almost stumbles to follow, but Jeff blocks him by catching him in a hug.

“You're so warm when I'm drunk ...” He hisses against Kurt's neck, but Kurt's paying no attention to him.

He's following Sebastian with his gaze as the man walks away. He has questions, he wants to know more, no matter how embarrassing it might to turn out to be. He needs to understand so much of Sebastian's behavior if what he said is true. 

Before he disappears into another room, Sebastian looks over his shoulder. When he sees Kurt staring, he shoots a wink at him and nods towards the stairs.

If this is an invitation, Kurt is going to accept it.

To talk, he reminds himself, just to talk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Since some of you asked me to continue this, here I am! I'm going leave you to the story and then add more in the end.

Following Sebastian upstairs at a Warbler's reunion, sneaky as a thief and smoothly quiet as a cat, because the other boy confessed or not that he might have had some nasty thoughts over Kurt and acted on them, is not what you would picture Kurt doing at all. And yet, here is, head tilting as he spies along the barely enlightened hallway, until he sees that there's a room with a light on.

He feels a bit as if Sebastian and he were playing a game, only he's disadvantaged because he doesn't not know the rules or where the game is headed even.

There's no surprise with walking into the room and finding Sebastian sitting on bed, hands at his sides on the mattress, and eyes daring Kurt to come closer. Kurt feels like it's a dangerous zone, and oh if it isn't fit for Sebastian's persona.

“I don't bite.” Sebastian wiggles his eyebrows.

Kurt wonders how can a human being behave like this after what Sebastian confessed. Unless he was lying and toying with Kurt. That could be, it sounds like something he would totally do. A few years ago, Kurt wouldn't do what he does next, but he's a grown up now.

He kicks the door closed behind him and strolls towards Sebastian.

“So what's with the chasing game?” He asks, arms crossed to his chest. He's not upset or flirty, just sincerely curious.

Sebastian shrugs.

“Don't you have the most fitting personality to mess with?” He is amused, there's no denial.

On the one hand, Kurt craves to slap his face. On the other though …

“ _You were_  messing with me, then.” He steps to the bed, but doesn't join the other boy on it. Personal space after being locked up in a closet might sound hilarious, but still. “And you wanted to see if I'd follow you so that you could mock my interest. Nice.”

Maybe that did come out a bit annoyed.

To his credit, Sebastian's grin is less amused and more confused.

“Now, now, Kurt.” He puts a hand to his chest dramatically. “You wound me. What is it of our honest heart to heart? Didn't it mean anything to you?”

There's so much sarcasm in his face, Kurt can't help the way his play-along face drops a bit. Part of him, despite his not too deep interest with Sebastian Smythe, would be wounded to find out he means it sardonically; granted, it was just a conversation that took place because of Seven minutes in Heaven, but it felt honest to him. Kurt did put a piece of his heart in that, despite it being a superficial and occasional one rather than the emotions he deserves for the people that he loves.

To think that Sebastian might have acted like he meant it only to reveal it was a trick … it would unexpectedly hurt.

Kurt knows he is taking a risk when he breathes out and says, “It did. It meant something to me.”

Sebastian frowns again, which only upsets Kurt more.

“I'm sorry if it's complicated for you to understand that it could have some importance.” Kurt adds, hates himself for the way his voice makes his nervousness transparent. “And I'm happy that I was entertaining enough for you to play with. If we're done, I'll be out of the room.”

There's a stung to his eyes that Kurt hates. He's an adult now, and he can't believe he might feel like crying because he's being played by someone he hadn't seen in years. Whatever, maybe it's just that his pride is hurt and he can't stand it happening with someone who already wounded it years ago. Yes, that is all it must be.

However, Kurt doesn't manage to go through with his runaway plan, because he's been held by the wrist.

He turns around in shock and then horror when he sees Sebastian's fingers wrapped around his skin. Kurt feels anxious, a few words and Sebastian is back to being what he was for Kurt in high school. Someone to fear and avoid.

“Kurt.” Sebastian says though, and he sounds as sincere as earlier. “I was joking. I thought you'd have figured.”

Kurt looks up to meet his gaze, probably looks vulnerable and exposed. Sebastian's eyes are filled with something so intense that it makes Kurt trust him. He wishes it wasn't the case.

“For real.” Sebastian insists, giving a light pull to his wrist. “You know about what I told you while playing the game? I guess I wanted to be all smug and funny so it wouldn't be embarrassing now. I wanted it to be like us.”

_Us_ . Kurt thinks.  _But there is no us_.

“I don't understand.” He speaks softly, dislikes how it sounds but now trusts Sebastian not to abuse it. “What you said earlier … It sounds so unreal to me.”

“I get it.” Sebastian says easily, finally letting go of Kurt's wrist. “And it was very lame of me to throw it out like that, but in my defense: one, I was  _always_  lame; two, I hadn't seen you in years and I thought this was probably the last time we met, so I wouldn't get any chance to tell you.”

Kurt relaxes, watches as Sebastian sits back on the bed.

“So you asked me to play it so that you could tell me?” He asks, suspiciously. There was no mean intent but he would still feel manipulated if that was the case.

“What no!” Sebastian laughs. “You're unbelievable. I thought so once we were already playing. You tricked me and I was like, 'well, Sebastian, take it or leave it'.”

He pats the spot on the bed next to him. Kurt feels safer but maybe not safe enough to sit there.

“I remember  _us_  in high school though.” He says instead, arms now crossed against his chest once more. “I wouldn't believe you … did  _that_.”

“Hey, there's nothing to censor about masturbation.” Sebastian says directly. “You can mention it, you're already going to hell for murdering decency with your outfits.”

“Oh my God!” Kurt rolls his eyes. “You really don't know how to help yourself in a situation, do you?”

Sebastian grins and pats on the bed again. This time, Kurt follows the request and sits next to him, at safe distance, of course.

“Tell me a story.” He offers, challenging tone in his voice.

To his credit, Sebastian looks a bit reluctant. Kurt guesses he's smug until there's something intimate on the line and despite his efforts to shrug it off as something that  _isn't_  intimate, if that were the case, then Sebastian wouldn't have him come here to talk about it.

“Well, it was a game, really. With myself, not anyone else.” He mentions when Kurt stiffens, fears it involves some kind of bet to mock him. “I wanted Blaine, like, a lot. And then you showed up and I was so upset.”

“Poor child.” Kurt's smile is a little tighter now.

He is trying not to hold resentment because of their previous conversation but the mention still makes him a bit wary.

“Shut up, I was young, child fits the description.” Sebastian defends himself. “Anyway, I looked at you and I couldn't help but wonder about what Blaine saw in you. Whatever it was, I was clearly not getting it. I mean, you weren't the ugliest crap I had ever seen, but worth it not having sex with me? That was absurd!”

“Is this suppose to flatter me in any way?” Kurt asks, shoulders rigid. “Or does it consist of you sitting there and pulling on a high school you?”

“I'm getting to the point, hold on.” Sebastian says, and actually gives Kurt and apologetic look which almost makes up for it. “I was still the idiotic self you met, so the thought of you being more appealing than me was something I couldn't bear. I wondered … how would Blaine even have sex with him? What's there to be turned on?”

“Wait.” Kurt stops him, can't help but flush a bit before he adds: “You're telling me you touched yourself to prove there was nothing to be turned on?”

Sebastian wiggles his eyebrows, so Kurt leans in to slap his arm.

“That's awful! You managed to do even  _that_  in a way that is meant to denigrate me!” He's not angry about it though. It was high school, any different version of this Kurt was expecting to hear was pure fantasy.

“Hold on.” Sebastian raises his hands and laughs. “Remember what I said: I did that several times ...” He takes one step along the bed and suddenly, as he sits closer to Kurt, the atmosphere is completely different. “The first time, it might have been to denigrate you. The second time,” Sebastian says more lowly, his eyes tracing the features of Kurt's face from up close, “it might have been to convince myself I was still denigrating you, but then ...”

Kurt holds his breath. He's not sure why he is doing so or why he is letting himself be invested at all. His heartbeats speed up, he needs to remind himself to breathe and there's a tiny weight to his chest that he can't explain in his head even.

“Then?” He finds himself asking, his tiny little insecure voice back from the high school days, accompanied by the most classic arching of his eyebrows.

Sebastian looks surprised that he asked, because of course the continuation to that sentence is obvious. But Kurt's gradually burning inside with want, whether it is for knowledge or self-flattery, and he's  _almost_ been fooled once already tonight. He's simply making sure, what's wrong with it?

“Then, it was because I enjoyed it.” Sebastian steps a bit closer along the edge of the bed and this time, Kurt doesn't move back. “You were so good to me in my fantasies and I thought, since it's in my imaginary, it could be anyone else. But during those months, no matter how much I tried … I could only see you in my head.”

Kurt chews the insides of his mouth, but that clearly does nothing to hide his amused smile. He knows what his face is doing: that 'adorable' satisfied kitten face that makes all his friends smile back, but that feels so unfitting that Kurt guesses it's the least sexy image of himself.

However, it would seem like Sebastian finds it more intriguing than he thought.

His eyes are exploring of Kurt's features, run along his face as if there was so much to see. Kurt thinks it's just his face, what can there be to it? His breathing is only getting more complicated and the closeness is making something pool in his stomach that Kurt hasn't felt in forever. He has been so focused on himself, his own career, and he loved it, but … he would be a fool to deny he hasn't missed the feeling of a boy looking at him like he'd walk around the Earth and back if Kurt would kiss him.

But of course, that must be in his head. It's Sebastian Smythe we're talking about. He might have had naughty thoughts about Kurt, but it couldn't be a matter of kissing. It feels out of his character – or the character Kurt identifies him with anyway.

“Well, okay ...” He presses his lips together, maybe blushes a little. “That's … nice to hear.”

“Oh I made this weird.” Sebastian rolls his eyes, but his lips are arched in his trademark smirk. “I'm all in for the details, but if it's making you uncomfortable, then-”

Kurt isn't sure what possesses him.

He leans in quickly, hand reaching to cup the back of Sebastian's neck and pulling him close where their lips almost meet.

That is when Sebastian puts a hand on his chest and prevents Kurt from … kissing him? Was that what Kurt was going to do?

“ _Woah_.” Sebastian laughs, but there's some nervousness and weirdness to it. Kurt feels his stomach flip out of embarrassment and rejection. “Don't tell me you think I would want to kiss you because I jerked off to you in high school. It's been  _years.”_

Kurt forces himself to laugh back and drops his hand.

“No, no.” He says, gesturing nervously, trying to shrug it off at his best. As if he didn't do what he just did. “Please, that's  _insane_. No one … no one would think  _that!_  I was just joking, I mean, I wanted to, hmm, test your instincts, yeah. That's it. Your instincts. No one would want to do that!”

Sebastian's smirk becomes mischievous so quickly that it makes Kurt dizzy.

“Aw, you're so cute.” He clearly mocks, although there's no meanness to it. “But, babe, I totally would.”

That is all the warning Kurt gets before the roles are inverted, and now he's the one being pulled in by a hand behind his neck, and his mouth is crashing with Sebastian's. Startled by the suddenness, Kurt doesn't even close his eyes and his lips are simply pressed in a tight line against Sebastian's demanding ones. His heart's now racing again, but he's not sure if it's the bedroom teenage escapade or the fact that he hasn't kissed someone in a while. Or maybe it's the fact that it's Sebastian, his high school rival and the boy who turns out to have touched himself to him times before. Maybe it's a mixture of all, and it's the mix that makes it dangerous.

When Kurt does not respond, Sebastian pulls back a bit.

They are still close and Kurt feels like his face is on fire. Sebastian is scanning him with concern, looking for clues of unwanted pressure. Kurt doesn't feel that way. He is surprised, that's all. Why would Sebastian think anything else when Kurt was the one to try and kiss him first?

“I'm sorry, I thought-” Sebastian starts but this time, Kurt's hungry for what he missed of this last kiss.

When he catches Sebastian's mouth, it is calm rather than rushed. They don't collapse together but slowly glue and Kurt's hand comes to rest on Sebastian's thigh, at safe space where it's not too much but enough. He nuzzles at Sebastian's cheek when he cocks his head to the side and deepens the kiss, curious tongue coming out to taste the one he might have want to cut off in high school. Sebastian moans happily at Kurt's enthusiasm, his hands reach to cup Kurt's hips.

His breathing is irregular, Kurt almost feels powerful at the way it would mirrors their kiss, or at the way Sebastian seems to follow wherever Kurt's lips go. Every single movement, Sebastian mimics it like he won't let Kurt move away. Kurt knows that in reality he would, but it's also pretty evident that he doesn't want to.

When Kurt trails back, faces still close, but mouths not joined, Sebastian automatically chases for more, only reaching a few inches in before he notices the smirk on Kurt's lips.

“Such a little tease,” He groans but looks amused, his hands still innocent on Kurt's hips.

“Don't you like it?” Kurt asks rhetorically, feeling unsure about his own appeal but not daring to mention it. “And here I pictured you liked playing.”

“Spent some time thinking about me, huh?” Sebastian grins back, but Kurt is not going to answer that.

Instead he moves in again, mouth capturing Sebastian's lower lip in a slow almost torturing way, pulling and releasing it, making Sebastian squirm unexpectedly. His hand runs from waist to Kurt's chest, long fingers coming to hold onto the collar of his shirt, pulling just a bit before Kurt gets the hint.

It's not that Kurt is following the request though. In fact, he's following  _his own_  want.

The tug to his shirt is merely the excuse he gives himself when he jolts forward, straddling Sebastian as the boy's hand reaches his back and pulls him in for another kiss, mouths finding one another way too fast and smoothly for being almost strangers. No, not strangers. Worse than that. Strangers didn't hurt each other in the past in most cases.

Sebastian's fingers run along his thigh and Kurt simply dives into his mouth, tongue exploring and tasting Sebastian and claiming him almost possessively. Sebastian is compliant and curious to touch but not daring to take it too far. His hands travel to Kurt's lower back but he never pushes them too far, instead he simply holds Kurt onto his lap, hips gradually and not so secretly starting to rub together, until Kurt can feel his own erection come to life, right against Sebastian's.

Holding his low grunt would have been impossible by then, but it is also what wakes him up from his sudden uncontrolled lust.

He pulls back, gasping for air, and only moans louder when Sebastian takes it as an invite to lean in and kiss Kurt's neck instead. It feels hot and wet and a bit forbidden for them, and it's such a nice break in Kurt's now comfortable but programmed life that when Sebastian licks from his neck to his jaw, Kurt almost tells himself,  _screw it, I'm getting some tonight_.

Almost.

Sebastian is tilting his head to catch Kurt's mouth again when Kurt stops him.

“I'm sorry.” He says, split because he reality he wants them to go all the way. “I don't think this is okay. Don't ask why, I just don't.”

For some reason, Sebastian seems pleased by it rather than annoyed.

“Want me to take you out for dinner first?” He asks teasingly, his hands sliding back to Kurt's hips to hold him.

Kurt isn't sure how they're managing to have a conversation with theirs dicks straining in their pants while being pressed so closely, but that's not the point.

“No, not really, I, huh.” He is not sure how to explain something he doesn't completely know. “I want to. I really do.” Despite his will, he blushes a little darker. “And I'm a grown-up man. I appreciate romanticism but I also appreciate, you know,  _all the goods_. It's just … I feel like it's very fast and it's confusing for me.”

With the way he says it, Kurt feels incredibly dumb. He presses his lips together once he's done, feels like he's just given the most stupid excuse in the world and so lame and embarrassed with it, that even if he decided to go down with it after all, his excitement would be too spent from this to manage.

When Sebastian chuckles, Kurt feels himself sinking more.

That is, until Sebastian speaks.

“As I said, cute.” He says, leans in and presses a soft kiss to Kurt's lips. Kurt is both surprised and concerned that it might be a strategy to win him in. And he doesn't want to be pressured into sex, not anymore. “And you know what, you're kinda right. It's confusing for me too.”

Kurt cocks his head on the side, frowns so evidently that Sebastian looks offended.

“Is it that impossible to you?” He arches his eyebrows. “We've both moving at the same speed, you know. You jumped on me, I jumped on you and it all went pretty hard pretty fast.” He shoots a wink at Kurt. “Honestly, I'm dying to turn my high school wet dreams into reality, but if you're unsure and I'm unsure, they wouldn't live up to my expectations.”

“Pffft.” Kurt scoffs, hiding his immediate relief. “Your expectations? Really? I can live up to those at any time.”

“I've been told I have the wildest dreams.” Sebastian teases, but his smirk is now softened into a smile. “C'mon, then. Let's go.” He pats Kurt's thigh, gesturing him to stand up.

Suddenly, Kurt's taken by a new fear. He doesn't want Sebastian to be bored with him and whatever this is to never get another chance, but at the same time he doesn't want to give himself in fear of what might not happen because he's insecure. Sebastian looks sincere, but then again he might be a good actor just trying to get rid of the boredom that Kurt would make in his point of view.

That is what moves Kurt to put a hand on Sebastian's chest and stop him.

Sebastian looks up at him with honest curiosity.

“Where does this leave us?” He asks, still flushing.

“On the bed, with you still on top of me.” Sebastian smirks, but it's gone when Kurt slaps his arm. “Oh, you meant it?”

Kurt's a bit taken by surprise, doesn't know if would be more embarrassing to deny it or confirm it. Eventually though, he is honest at heart, so he nods, his face probably looking as tight as it feels.

“Well, if you're okay with it, we could hang out a bit, make out some more, because you looked okay with making out and I dig that as much.” He says, but there's no mockery or sarcasm. “Whatever, I don't know. I just don't want anything to happen when you're not completely in on it, and I'm not either. Imagine my masturbating teenage self with such heartbreak and delusion.”

“ _Oh my god!_ ” Kurt rolls his eyes and feels his face burn. “Not everything revolves around your teenage dick!”

Sebastian laughs and finally, when he's said the D word on top of a still half-hard Sebastian, Kurt feels the need to stand up and pull away. At this point his own will is only half-relevant as Sebastian said he's confused himself.

“I know it doesn't.” Sebastian calls from behind him. “Dirty jokes is how I make myself comfortable.”

“Has anyone ever told you that your comfort makes people uncomfortable?” Kurt asks, breathlessly, feeling like the room is now too much of a small space.

Sebastian looks calmer than him, more put together. Kurt has to fight his urge to look down at what he was rubbing against moments ago now that he's standing higher.

“Relax, I know. I'm sorry.” He says honestly. “I'm used to taking my advantage from other people's disadvantages. It's wrong but bad habits die hard.”

“So where does this leave us?” Kurt insists.

When Sebastian stands up, Kurt is concerned about what he might do.

Sebastian reaches between them and pulls Kurt by the wrist again, until their chests are almost touching. His hand moves to cup the back of Kurt's neck as he leans in and whispers in his ear: “Tell me where you want us to be.”

Kurt has a good list of bad answers to that, but fortunately he manages to suppress his returning horny side to trail back a bit and look into Sebastian's eyes from up close.

“Anywhere but a Warblers' reunion.” He says so spontaneously, he almost doesn't understand why Sebastian laughs.

“What a nice surprise you are.” He says and then lets go of his hold on Kurt. It feels reassuring and cold at the same time. “Fine. Then let's find an excuse and get out of here- _hey no sex!_ ” He corrects when Kurt gives him a questioning look. “Midnight coffee and all?”

“Who sleeps after midnight coffee?” Kurt asks, doubtful.

“Not us.” Sebastian offers then guides Kurt out of the room by the elbow. “We can go to my place and spend the whole night talking about my talent as a violinist and your football career in high school.”

“Oh God,” Kurt snorts, “Are you going bring up me playing a sport often? Must be so shocking for you.”

“As shocking as the masturbating-to-you teen Sebastian was for you.” Sebastian says, walks out first, in front of Kurt.

Kurt is thankful for that, because he doesn't want to be seen blushing at this point. However the night goes, Kurt feels that for some reason, now that the tension is broken, they're not going to risk losing the balance again. It is an unsettling feeling but it makes it possible for him to be around Sebastian.

When they actually leave together, everyone eyes them suspiciously, but it's not like Kurt cares (Okay, he does a bit, but in a curious kind of way, not to the point where he would let it determine his choices). He didn't want to come in the first place and he doesn't feel that close to any of them anymore. It was just not as boring as he thought it would be, but he is suspicious of why that is.

Kurt ends up driving behind Sebastian's car to his parents' empty place and as weird as it seems, they don't get naughty again. There's only this little moment when Sebastian has Kurt pinned against the counter in the kitchen, with their mouths catching one another and making these wet sounds that almost get Kurt there again, especially with Sebastian's body pressed all long and muscled and warm against him. When they pull off though, Kurt thinks it's not too bad.

This feeling of chasing and not getting there, wanting and not immediately taking what he craves might work for a bit.

Not for long, but  _for_   _now._

After all, he wants to enjoy his status of long-awaited wet dream come to life for as long as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see this one isn't a complete ending either. About that I wanted to add that 1) being set in just one night, it would have been dismissive and unrealistic to give it a real ending; I mean things are just beginning, it would have felt really weird to me; 2) it is very likely that I will add at least one more part for this as soon as I come up with an original setting and plot (if you have any little hints of what you'd like to see, try and shoot it, it might inspire me).
> 
> Thanks to Ila for reading this and letting me know that it wasn't complete garbage. Hope you liked it too!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! The responses I got over this fic apparently made me invested, so here's another chapter! In other news, I cut it. It was longer, but it made more sense for me to put the other part in the next chapter rather than this one (I cut about 2,000 words, but you'll get them, don't worry!). I hope you guys enjoy this and that it doesn't disappoint your expectations for this story.  
> Thanks to Ilaria for reading this and telling me it wasn't so bad - I'd be lost with your early opinion omg haha.

You know how people have a nice experience with one another and eventually stay in touch and maybe not-so-secretly crave more, therefore they try to make all of their planned meetings sound casual?

Well, apparently Kurt and Sebastian aren't good at that.

After the Warblers' reunion and the night they had spent at the Smythes', well … there was silence. An _everlasting_ silence. They had laughed and talked, and made out a bit, and eventually, they exchanged numbers, but in reality, nothing happened afterwards. For three weeks.

Now, Kurt hates the idea of anchoring himself to yet another man when his success is ascending. However, he can't help but let it affect him.

He has been in an awful mood for days. Despite the sincerity Sebastian seemed to talk with that night, it is incredibly difficult for Kurt to give a value to it now. He wants to, he really does. He wants to believe that Sebastian was as interested as he seemed, and rationally, he knows he could be the one to call or text. What would that make him though? The one who gets his head into another man, whom he believes to be a potential partner only to be let down again? You can't blame him for not wanting that with his experience. People are not the way you see them; people are the way they are. It seems logic, but if Kurt had acknowledged this apparently basic science earlier, he would have had easier seasons of love.

When it's been too long and calling would feel extremely weird, Kurt is a bit disappointed in himself as he holds on to the last desperate occasion he gets: Warblers reunion, of course. He is even grateful that the Warblers are so deep into each other's … _hearts,_ that they meet so often, because it's just the perfect excuse. Meeting Sebastian, starting a casual conversation, connecting again without looking like he's been smashing his head against a wall (now, now, Kurt wouldn't actually do that … more than once a week).

However his plans blow when Sebastian is not present. Kurt is rightfully upset, only towards the wrong person. He should be mad at himself for having literally flown the country for a man he hasn't heard of in weeks rather than texting him. Instead, for the night, Kurt is mad at Sebastian and his stupid pretty face, and his charming voice, and his obnoxious CW hair adult version and _especially his stupid mustache_.

Come morning, gone home though, he has settled his own anger and translated it into productive energy for his new designs. That ought keep him busy (and successful as he intends to stay) enough not to think of Sebastian. There weren't any explicit deals for them after that night, honestly, Kurt didn't even tell Sebastian where he wanted them to be, even when asked. Maybe they're both a bit at fault for being extremely bad at communication, but whatever. It was promising, but what's done is done. Kurt can't afford sinking now, so he'd rather avoid the matter completely.

Another week goes by in complete silence, Kurt has almost forgotten about the whole thing by attending a few minor galas and being stuck in his office until late.

On a Sunday morning, here's the twist.

When someone rings at the door of his apartment, Kurt is sure it's Rachel. She's the only person who would show up at nine in the morning, on a cloudy Sunday. She is also the only person who would know Kurt is awake.

The shock on his face when he opens the door to Sebastian Smythe must be so evident from the way Sebastian is smirking. Honestly, Kurt was almost starting to believe their night together was a vision or something.

“You?” He asks, agitated. “Wha-what are you doing here? You're … I'm …”

When he figures there is no way he'll manage to ask proper questions other than the ones he spoke, he just leaves it to Sebastian, who's standing there, tall and good-looking and partly amused, partly apologetic.

“There's no way to make this sound less creepy, _and_ you know I have no filters.” Sebastian anticipates before he explains. “But you haven't called me and I haven't called you, and look at what that did to my ego. I'm knocking on your door early, on a Sunday morning. What a loser.”

Kurt forces himself not to smile, but he can feel his lips tilt a bit despite the effort.

“So you came all the way to New York …” He begins, then pauses. “Wait, do you live here or something?”

“ _Seriously, you are always here!_ ” Sebastian exclaims, grinning and parroting Kurt's voice a bit.

It takes Kurt a few seconds to understand what he's talking about, but then holding his laugh is practically impossible.

“I can't believe you remember that!” He sounds almost scolding as he laughs and blushes a bit.

“Yeah, no hard feelings.” Sebastian grins and nods towards the inside of Kurt's apartment. “Will you let me or do I have to woo my way in?”

“ _Ugh,_ that wouldn't turn out well for you.” Kurt shrugs, but moves aside to make room for him. “Because you're awful at wooing, but also because I'm creeped out that you came here and seem to remember anything I ever said in high school.”

Once Sebastian has walked in, without any need for further permission, Kurt closes the door and follows. Sebastian makes himself at home, strolls along the hallway to sit on Kurt's couch in the living room. He pats it, but for once it's experimental and not to invite Kurt to join him.

“Nice.” Sebastian says, lips curled up as he seems to have a particular love for Kurt's couch. That can't turn out well. “So, yeah, I live here. I mean, in New York, but I wouldn't mind living on this couch.”

Kurt rolls his eyes, but despite his best effort he is smiling. It's hard to act like he's not happy to see Sebastian. He just is, no matter the complications, and while Kurt is a talented actor, he can't find a good reason to pretend.

“What brings you here, beside your apparent stalking routine thanks to which you even figured where I live?” He asks, while sitting next to Sebastian. Not too close, not too far.

“Blaine told me you lived here.” Sebastian says casually as he explores the room with his eyes. “He's so naive. I told him that you forgot a scarf at the Warblers reunion. I didn't even have to come up with a good excuse.”

“You still haven't told me why you where making up excuses to find me.” Kurt prompts, and finally Sebastian looks at him.

His eyes are turned in his direction with such intensity and _life_ inside them, that it makes Kurt breathless for a moment. His skin almost itches in every point Sebastian lays his eyes on and before he can have a better hold of his own actions, Kurt's pressing his own lips together, not in a thin line, but in the way you press them when you're preparing them.

Sebastian's eyes flick to his lips.

Kurt's heart skips a beat.

“ _Kurt_.” He says, sounds like a plea Kurt is willing to fulfill.

Only when Sebastian barely shifts, from his spot, Kurt's tongue wins over his will.

“So you came here? For me?” He says obviously, probably sounds a bit idiotic. “You … asked for my address, came here and knocked on my door to … spend some time with me?”

Sebastian's lips tilt into a smirk and it is a bit concerning that Kurt can read the quality time joke, even though Sebastian does not say it.

“Yeah. That's it.” He says like it's the most natural thing in the world.

Even if Kurt didn't want to kiss him before, he _really_ wants to kiss him now.

“You don't strike me as a romantic.” Kurt complains, mentally scolding his own brain for not just dropping it.

“Ew, I'm not, what the hell?” Sebastian almost looks offended. “It's not romantic if I want to be with you, then I stalk you through your friends and knock on your door after weeks of radio silence-”

“ _I meant.”_ Kurt interrupts. “I meant, it's romantic that you want to spend some time with me, then you just make it happen. Because you think it's simple. That's nice.”

Sebastian looks a bit uncomfortable, like he's not used to have these conversations. This one, Kurt saw it coming.

“Well, I'm not like that, but fuck it.” Sebastian drops his back against the couch. “You wouldn't call me and – I swear if you make fun of this I'm gonna head out right now – I was freaking scared to call you, so even though it was a bit creepy-”

“What?” Kurt frowns.

“I _know_ it was creepy.”

“No! I mean ...” Kurt interrupts once more, unawarely moving closer and speaking softer. “Why were scared to call me?”

Sebastian gives him an exasperated look, but it's clear that they're used to different ways. Kurt has learned that keeping things benefits no one. It's always best to just be honest. Eventually, Sebastian seems to come to the conclusion that not speaking wouldn't make sense, since he's come here.

“What if you didn't pick up? Or worse ...” He looks away from Kurt, maybe blushing a little, Kurt can't be sure from that angle. “What if we _did_ talk and we had one of those super awkward conversation people have after … _things_ like what we had, I don't know. Fear isn't always well-motivated.”

Kurt isn't sure what there is on his face, but when Sebastian looks at him, he appears surprised with what he meets.

“I felt the same.” Kurt confesses, shrugging with a bit of relief in his tone. “I'm so sorry that I haven't called or anything. Believe me, I wanted to, so much.”

Sebastian's lips tilt into a genuine (and beautiful) smile.

“Oh I wish I could _not_ believe you, but I can relate.” He says as he leans in slowly, his gaze turning from sincere vulnerability to flirtatious. “So how about we make up for the time we've wasted?”

Kurt looks between his green eyes and his tempting mouth.

“You mean-”

“Kissing, making out.” Sebastian whispers, his breath ghosting over Kurt's lips. “I really just want to kiss you. I missed it more than it should be allowed for a one night smooch.”

_ Kissing _ , Kurt thinks,  _kissing is just fine_ .

Kurt has such desire for it, he almost forgets about their weeks of silence. Almost, because Kurt's brain might scream not to talk, but his heart always reaches his mouth first.

“Are we going to fall back into silence after that?” He asks, and knows it sounds rude even though it's not in his choice of tone. He isn't being sharp, he's simply being honest with the questions that are bothering him. “What would that makes us? Friends with kissing benefits?”

“Cuddling benefits if you wish it.” Sebastian spreads his welcoming arms and Kurt shoots him an incredulous look, as if he was so easily bribed. It's tempting, but not tempting enough.

“I'm serious.” He hisses, a bit more tensed, both in the voice and his position. “I seriously don't have the time to waltz around another man right now. I can't afford ...”

He hesitates for a moment, looking into Sebastian's eyes with a bit of fear in his heart. In these moments when Kurt is sincere and open and vulnerable, he doesn't see adult Sebastian. He sees the shadow of teenage Sebastian coming over and taking a chance to mock him. He tells himself Sebastian isn't that person anymore, that he wouldn't be here if he were.

“I can't afford missing you.” He says directly, the last reminder filling his head with a little push from his will. “I'm so busy right now, and it's important for me and my career that I don't lose my focus, and I might have lasted a month, but if you kiss me now and then walk out of that room to show up in another four weeks, it will mess me up.” Ugh, how he hates that he's saying it. “It will be awful for me and, well, you're a great kisser but I won't throw everything I worked hard for on that.”

When he's finished, Kurt's a little breathless, as if he had just taken something heavy off his chest – something that honestly feels like it goes _way beyond_ Sebastian. It's distressful but in the end it is nice, to know he has set some implicit ground rule and that if Sebastian leaves now, tells him he's too much of a whiny potential-something, it will hurt, but it will be done in awareness that Kurt has been truthful to himself (at first it might not be a big consolation, but in his life Kurt has learned, that is the best feeling in the long run).

For a few moments, Sebastian is unreadable.

He stares at Kurt with what looks like curiosity but mixed with things Kurt is incapable of decoding. The seconds go by and he says nothing for a while, which is making Kurt extremely anxious. He wonders if Sebastian is doing it on purpose, just to enjoy it, or if he's truly thinking about something.

At some point, it is too much. Kurt can't handle the pressure and the awkwardness of sitting still waiting for an answer, so he needs to ask.

“Was that too much for us?” He chews the inside of his mouth. “I mean, did I completely make this something more than it is – because believe me I do that a lot – like, overstepping the one night smooch standards?”

Finally, Sebastian smiles.

“Ah, you are _so_ beyond standards.” He says cheekily and Kurt blushes a bit despite not knowing what it really means yet. “Can I ask you an honest question?”

Kurt is scared of honest questions.

He can't spin around most of them, and sometimes honest question actually means _definitive_ question. Telling himself that he has to put his priorities first doesn't soothe the little ache of anticipation in his chest. This is probably the point where Sebastian asks him if he figured this is the reason why is almost thirty and not in a stable relationship yet.

Nodding, he prepares himself to sink.

“Great.” Sebastian smiles, looking a bit nervous himself. “You know I was going to ask anyway, right?”

“Is that the honest question?” Kurt tries desperately, knowing it sounds ridiculous. “Then, yes, I saw that coming.” He lies.

Sebastian smirks and scrunches his face.

“Is it really so important to you to put a label on this?” He asks, looking sincere but also a bit teasing. “We have barely talked, mostly kissed and almost fucked,” Kurt winces at the crudeness, “What is it that made you so defensive that you have to _ask a guy_ to take commitment before you even start knowing if you're gonna date him. Honestly, Kurt, you don't even know if you want to date me.”

“That's not-” Kurt says automatically, but stops mid-sentence and sighs.

It's true.

Kurt is intelligent enough to know where Sebastian is going with this. He's been trying to push Sebastian into a direction he himself wasn't capable of taking or completely avoiding yet. Kurt doesn't know what they are, just like Sebastian. And the point is, Sebastian probably doesn't know what he wants either. It is only logical that they still don't know where to go with this. They were together for one night and it was strangely pleasant, yes, but still not enough to figure anything out at all.

“I'm sorry I've been doing this.” He confesses, staring down at an empty spot on the couch and feeling himself ache more than before. This time it's not for Sebastian though, but because of what he unawarely recalled. “I didn't realize that I was. It sounds absurd, I know, but there wasn't a bad intention behind it. I've been pressuring you into something I couldn't be pressured into by myself even.”

“Hey.” Sebastian steps closer along the couch and wraps his fingers around Kurt's chin, so Kurt looks up to him. “What is it that makes you do this? I suck at reading people but only an idiot wouldn't see, you are picking your own opinion on an eventual relationship based on if the other wants it. That's basically in contrast with everything you just said about yourself.”

Kurt feels his eyes become moist and his breathing become harsher from the effort of holding the tears. God, he's been unlucky with relationships in his life. He has never had a relationship where he could just _be_ with a man, no complications, no fighting, no personal dwelling over someone else. Is he even fit to date anyone?

“I'm sorry, I-”

He tries to pull away, move from the couch before Sebastian can see it happening, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. But when he moves, Sebastian's hand smoothly reaches his jaw and he's being turned gently. There's not much pressure in Sebastian's touch, but the comfort is too inviting when one's fragile. It keeps three times the normal strength to oppose it.

“It's okay.” Sebastian hisses, his face filled with concerned. Kurt is burning, wants to look away but he can't. Sebastian's thumb strokes along his cheek line. “You don't have to tell me anything you don't feel like sharing. What I meant is, I see that there's something making you act like this and I want you to realize you're doing it. That's all. You just seemed oblivious.”

Kurt feels himself calm a bit but there's still some never there. Where's the conversation going? What does this mean? His past experience only makes everything harder.

“I don't understand.” He confesses in a wet tiny voice.

“You're not as broken as you think you are.” Sebastian shrugs and Kurt's about to complain when he adds, “C'mon, I know you do.”

“So you think you can fix me?” Kurt asks, now truly snapping, wariness filling his tone, hardness in his blue eyes.

“Nooope,” Sebastian lets go of his face and sinks in the couch, his eyes staring at the ceiling, “I hope you will see you can fix yourself and in the meantime be successful and find some time to make out with me until we actually know how to talk it out.”

“But you do want that then.” Kurt says, although it sounds a bit like a question. “To talk it out.”

Sebastian has his head rested on the back of the couch when he looks at him. He's a bit weak himself, his lips tilt into the softest and most delicate of smiles, aimed to Kurt's face, but reaching Kurt's heart.

“Of course I do, silly.” He confesses in a quiet tone, like it is a secret. Kurt feels the tears dry, far from his eyes and from the pit in his chest. “Who wouldn't knock at his high school nemesis's door on an early Sunday morning for some unattached gratuitous kissing that they could literally find anywhere else, right? Almost sounds like I care!”

Sebastian's face on the last sentence makes Kurt laugh humidly and look down with warmth rather than discomfort. It is nice to have his heart feeling the vibe of happiness from another person again. It is almost as if he is scared to have it before he is scared to lose it, as it happens everytime.

“It does.” He eventually whispers, looking up to see that Sebastian is confused. “Sound like you care.”

Sebastian smiles. His mustache is ridiculous but he's still pretty.

“That's probably because I do.”

Kurt is very much in possess of his own emotions now as he moves in and presses his lips softly against Sebastian's, back arched as he leans over him with knees on the couch. Sebastian kisses him back gently, with no urgency and just as if he liked the brush of their lips enough not to pursue more. _That's probably because he does,_ Kurt jokes in his head, only to find it amusing enough to accidentally laugh a bit.

“What's so funny?” Sebastian asks, breaking away from the kiss, but staying extremely close to Kurt's face.

Kurt notices there's a protective hand on his back, holding him from falling off the couch. It feels very nice.

“I'm gonna give you the chance to raise your ego after the whole stalking me to kiss me thing and say … _you are_.” Kurt smiles fondly. “Because I'm charitable.”

“ _Ugh,_ you little asshole.” Sebastian groans and rolls his eyes.

It is just a moment of preparation apparently, as Kurt is suddenly being pushed into the couch and tickled to every point Sebastian's long fingers can reach. Of course, Kurt is ticklish.

“ _Oh my God!”_ He screams and laughs at the same time and he's completely unaware of his legs wrapped around Sebastian's waist.

That is irrelevant though, because Sebastian himself is too busy with tickling him to notice. So Kurt starts fighting back until it turns into a tickling battle, both of them too proud and competitive to let the other win, to the point where they collapse, exhausted, and Sebastian is lying on top of Kurt, head on his chest and voice sounding tired from more than just tickling. Maybe a rough night or something. _Actual_ tiredness.

When he senselessly says, “Hmm, I really do love your couch.” Kurt figures there's no way of saving it. Sebastian is going to fall asleep.

He lets him though. Really, they've already been in intimate positions and this time it is completely innocent. Sebastian is just breathing in and out on him as he drifts and Kurt has no intention to disturb him. Instead, he lets himself relax too, not to the point where he falls asleep (because he still has some work to do), but to where his body isn't stiff at all and he can enjoy the feeling of being so close to someone who trusts him enough to fall asleep.

Kurt looks down to where Sebastian is napping, hair a bit messy from the tickling fight and his thin lips parted slightly on his chest. He truly is handsome, there's no denying it and no rivalry forcing him to lie about it anymore. Sebastian is simply beautiful and for a moment of daydreaming, Kurt allows himself to imagine what would it be if they were together.

A lot of kissing, a lot of bickering, a lot of _look at how far we've come from high school_ jokes.

The dream is wonderful but reality calls and duty does along with it. As soon as it is possible, Kurt slides from underneath Sebastian and manages to settle him in a comfortable sleeping position on his couch. Knowing that staring won't help his routine – or his creepiness – Kurt avoids the contemplation and puts himself to work instead.

Sebastian wakes up quite late, but once he's conscious, he doesn't freak out or leave. He stays for lunch, kisses Kurt some more, makes fun of his designs and well, smiles in a way that is so timid yet obnoxious that it generates contrasting and uncontrolled emotions inside Kurt.

It's a good thing he's good at playing indifferent.

 


End file.
